Ezra Miller’s sexuality — The controversial actor’s gender identity detailed

Ezra Miller

Ezra Miller, who had once opened up about their #MeToo story and said that they had been a victim of attempted assault, has now been caught up in allegations of numerous assaults and child grooming cases. Though the actor has yet to comment on the grave allegations, it is not the first time they had been involved in a controversy.

However, in the early days of their career, Miller had cultivated an image as one of the few gender-bending fashion icons of Hollywood. Since 2020, Miller has opted for the “they/them” gender-neutral pronouns in a “pointed refusal to be gendered or identified in any category”.

Ezra Miller came out as queer in 2012 and hinted at not being monogamous

Ezra Miller officially came out as queer in 2012 when they were 19 years old and only had a few film credits to their name. In the exclusive interview with Out Magazine, Miller said:

“I’m queer. I have a lot of really wonderful friends who are of very different sexes and genders. I am very much in love with no one in particular.”

At that time, Miller (who had dated previously Zoe Kravitz) said that they were not dating anyone else as they have been “trying to figure out relationships”. They further hinted at their incompatibility with monogamy and were not ready to pursue “monogamous binds” that the culture dictated.

Ezra Miller and Zoe Kravitz
Zoë Kravitz and Ezra Miller during the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival at 675 Bar | Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images

“I’m just trying to make sure my lack of responsibility no longer hurts people. That’s where I’m at in the boyfriend/girlfriend/zefriend type of question,” added Miller.

In the years that followed Miller’s coming out, many people mistook them for being gay. But the actor went on to set the record straight in a following interview with The Daily Beast in 2012, saying:

“I’ve been attracted mostly to ‘shes’ but I’ve been with many people and I’m open to love wherever it can be found. I think a lot of people are projecting their own troubles and fears concerning sexuality onto those around them, and it does result in the perpetuation of a lot of hateful notions.”

Miller no longer uses the term ‘queer’ to describe themself as they do not identify with any gender

At times, Miller was labeled by the media as ‘bisexual’ although they had never used the term to refer to themselves. During their early days, Miller told The Advocate that ‘queer’ was the closest representation of what they were. Moreover, they considered the word queer to be an “all-encompassing banner for every human being”.

“It’s generational in the way that that term [queer] is newly available in a certain way. I think it feels the most open and inclusive and that’s what makes it apply for me, personally. I think there are a lot of people who fall on this open spectrum of sexuality,” Miller explained.

Although regarded by the media and fans alike as the “queer icon” of Hollywood, Miller has since shied away from explicitly using the “queer label” to describe themself. They prefer not to assign gender to themself and instead prefer to express their gender fluidity.

“Yeah, absolutely [I identified as queer in the past]. Which is to say, I don’t identify. Like, fuck that. Queer just means “no”, I don’t do that. I don’t identify as a man. I don’t identify as a woman. I barely identify as a human,” Miller told The Hollywood Reporter in 2018.

Later, Miller opened up about their lack of gender identity and admitted that they struggled with being “male”. While they do not mind people using male gender pronouns with them, they feel that the pronouns “they, them, theirs” make the most sense for them and are indicative of their personal growth and journey.

After a string of failed monogamous relationships, Miller is now polyamorous

Ezra Miller
Photo by Ryan Pfluger/Playboy

After years of hinting at their dissatisfaction with monogamy, Miller finally confirmed to Playboy that they were polyamorous.

In the November 2018 issue of the magazine, they said that they had experienced a string of heartbreaks in past relationships that have made them cautious about pursuing relationships with a single romantic partner.

They realized that monogamy was not right for them and are now in a polyamorous relationship with a group of people. The members of Miller’s polyamorous group (or ‘polycule’ as they call it)) also include the bandmates of their rock band known as ‘Sons of an Illustrious Father’. Miller said:

“I’m trying to find queer beings who understand me as a queer being off the bat, who I make almost a familial connection with, and I feel like I’m married to them 25 lifetimes ago from the moment we meet.”

Ezra Miller has been ‘repeatedly attacked’ throughout their life for their gender ambiguity

Ezra Miller began their self-exploration from a young age and had been sexually active with an older boy since their elementary school days. Proclaiming in interviews that they “liked kissing boys”, Miller euphemistically told Next Magazine that they had “many happy ending sleepovers” during their youth.

“My period of exploration – I think that’s essential. Anyone who hasn’t had a gay moment is probably trying to avoid some confrontation with a reality in their life,” they added.

However, when Miller reached middle school, they faced harassment and ridicule from their peers for dressing in gender-fluid clothes. The bullying soon turned into physical assaults. Miller told ES Magazine that as a young teenager, they had been “repeatedly assaulted” for their gender ambiguity.

“They couldn’t figure out if I was a boy or a girl, and they thought that was hilarious and also despicable. There were also [boys] who wanted to make out with me because they thought I was a girl. And when they found out I wasn’t, they were very angry, as if I’d been deceptive,” they recalled.

Additionally, the physical attacks carried on to their adult life. Miller shared that they had been publicly attacked even in seemingly progressive cities including New York, New Jersey, and North Carolina for wearing “girly” outfits.

“I’ve been attacked repeatedly in my life – I’ve been attacked by fucking bigots. Of course, I have been in audition situations where sexuality was totally being leveraged,” Miller told Playboy.